Thursday, September 4, 2008

The Gift of Marriage

Live happily with the woman you love
through the fleeting days of life, for
the wife God gives you is your best
reward down here for all your earthly
toil. (Eccl 9:9 TLB)

A successful Marriage as anything else in this world, begins with a good foundation.
You are responsible for creating that foundation.
I know it seems like it might be a bit of work and it can also be a lot of FUN.

1) A good foundation starts with the familiar catch all phrase of "Self-Love".
If you both take care of yourselves and take responsibility for your own happiness,
then you will be very powerful in creating happiness with each other.
Be responsible for yourself and for your actions.
Know that taking care of ourself is a key component to a good foundation
and a key ingredient to a successful marriage.

My thought on this:
well, for me, a good foundation starts with God.
I'm a sinner and have many weaknesses and always in need of HIS forgiveness
and other people forgiveness.
Knowing how HE designs love/marriage is a good foundation to start on.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (New International Reader's Version)

4 Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not want what belongs to others. It does not brag. It is not proud. 5 It is not rude. It does not look out for its own interests. It does not easily become angry. It does not keep track of other people's wrongs.

6 Love is not happy with evil. But it is full of joy when the truth is spoken. 7 It always protects. It always trusts. It always hopes. It never gives up.

Having his words both in our hearts as couple is a strong bind that could keep us.To fill our days with prayers and a heart of surrender and dependence on Him is another anchor we can cling into our marriage.

The success on our marriage depends on both of us with God's abundance of love and graces along with us!!

2) A sense of humor in the face of the everyday's stuff
can be very powerful for your relationship with yourself and with your partner.
It allows for creative solutions to other wise challenging situations.
Learning how to laugh at yourself and learning to not take life too seriously can create
some very fun evenings that you will both be talking about for years to come.

My thought on this:

Agree ako dito, and I believe my husband and I need to grow on this, hehehe.It might not be our strength, but we do have funny and wacky moments, like making our face funny and ugly. hahaha. and it feels goooooooooood!!

3) Create an agreement that only one person can be crazed at a time and stick with
the agreement.

If your partner comes home from a bad day at the office and needs to blow off steam by complaining,give them the space to do that as long as you are not being harmed by the situation. Wait until they are finished before jumping in with complaints rom your day. This is about making sure that both you and your partner feel heard and listened to and goes a long way in feeling appreciated and acknowledged.

My thought on this:
101% agree!!

4) Communicate, Communicate, Communicate!!
The caveat here is to communicate without criticism. Your partner needs to know when
they have stepped on your boundaries or when they have harmed you. You are BOTH
individuals that deserve to be treated well and sometimes we make mistakes and occasionally
we hurt each other unknowingly.You need to share your needs in a calm and non-critical
way. You also need to make space for your partner to share their side of the story.
If you both can understand where you are coming from then you will know how to take
care of each other in the future.

My thought on this:
101% agree!! Though I admit it's my weakness, I can express myself comfortably in
writing, and if you give me a notebook, it might not last in two weeks time without its pages
filled back to back, hehehe,....

5) Do not complain to your friends, your family or your partner's family about them.
Even though you think these comments might be made in confidence, the criticism about
your partner will be felt by them. Somehow we all know when we have been spoken about
in a critical way. Even if we are not present, we still know.
This can be a powerful force on your relationship. Unless you are being harmed in a
way that requires the help of friends and family, keep your personal complaints between
you and your partner. So, if your partner is sloppy around the house, do not share this with
six friends unless you are seeking real help to resolve the situation. If this is the case,then
you might want to speak with a coach or another qualified individual who can be
constructive and in solving your situation.

My thought on this:
101% agree!! "love always protects"

6) Share responsibilities and acknowledge and use each other's strengths to get the
everyday things accomplished.

We don't often like to hear this but sometimes other people can do things better than we can.
There is nothing wrong with letting your partner wash the dishes if you are the better cook
or taking turns depending on n who wants to cook. The same thing with cleaning the
bathroom or doing the laundry or paying the bills or keeping track of Birthdays
or whatever else needs to get done. There is also the other alternative of doing some
of the chores together (i.e., food shopping or laundry)

Express appreciation for the hard work your partner did to handle the bills or cook a
fabulous dinner. This will go a long way in creating a successful foundation for your

My thought on this:
101% agree!!
I remember my husband's effort even before our marriage. How he expressed "i love u"
by picking small white flowers (that we both don't know the name)and form them into
words, and one time he used paper and form them to "i love you panget" (hehehe)

And last valentines, he prepared a dinner, with a message, Happy valentines, I love you,
in a red cartolina. He showed his artistic power again and again, he cut out papers
replacing petals and showered them into the floor, and he cut our heart shaped wherein he served the drinks.

Not too forget the food was delicious, with fruits, I remember. (hahah)
I appreciate his effort in making the occasion special using his heart and talents.
and a lot more he did that I need enough time to share it. It's simply overflowing.
He is true to his promise to God of not leaving me...

7) Greet your partner every day with a hug and a kiss and say I Love You at least once
a day.
Whether it is the first thing you do upon waking up or the first thing you do when they
arrive home at night, this is a powerful way to reaffirm your bond every day. It is also
a pleasant way to reconnect with each other. It is also powerful to say "Goodnight" to each
other before going to bed.

My thought on this:
101% agree!!

8) Find something to appreciate about your partner every day and communicate that to
It can be as simple as a Thank You for throwing out the garbage or telling them you love
them in the color shirt they are wearing or simply telling them you love waking up next to
them.This communication needs to be honest and sincere and can be extremely powerful
in putting a smile on your partner's face when they are having a bad day.

My thought on this:

Truelalooooooo!! hehe. I remember, in the bible, God is expressive with the way he feels
toward us, as his daughter/son. By saying "My love for you is new everyday" and the like!
Indeed He has always been a model to us.

9) Create some quiet time for yourself and your partner to be alone separately and to
also be alone together.
It is important to spend some time apart to allow each of you to recharge and do your own
thing. Read a book or take a walk or go out with friends. Do whatever it is that you love to
do when you need to recharge yourself. Sometimes you can be alone while you are both in
the same house. My husband sometimes watches TV while I read a book and vice versa.
We both do what helps us recharge and we can be together yet apart in the same space.

My thought on this:
Agree with the writer again, kudos!!

10) Celebrate and acknowledge your Anniversary monthly and do this with other
important events.
(i.e., your first date, your first kiss or whatever makes you smile).
You can do this with just an acknowledgement or a card or even an occasional dinner out.
Creating a tradition of your own can be very fun and it keeps the romance going.

One Last Thought. . . .

Marriage, a union for life, is a symbol of the union between Christ and His church.
The spirit that Christ manifests toward His church is the spirit that the husband and wife are to manifest toward each other. If they love God supremely, they will love each other in the Lord, ever treating each other courteously, drawing in even cords. In their mutual self-denial and self-sacrifice they will be a blessing to each other. . . . {Ellen G. White, The Christian Home, p.95}

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